Monthly Archives: March 2011

Top Eight Ways to Appeal to a Sexy Grant Writer

Grant writers are always in BIG demand on the dating scene so you’ll need to know us better to catch one of us.Sexy Grant Writers are appealing

1)      Always promise a happy ending. (We love getting funded)

2)      Always tell us your needs (We like to design the perfect program)

3)      Always tell us how you’re going to evaluate performance. (We love an intimate assessment)

4)      Always make your objectives measurable. (cuz we know you’re more than significant)

5)      Always detail your budget. (We have expensive tastes)

6)      Don’t bind our narrative. (We like it loose)

7)      Always describe your management plan. (We prefer not to be surprised)

8)      Always start early and keep revising your style until it hits all the sweet spots. (Our sweet spots love a skillful editor)

Top 12 Reasons Grant Writers are Yummy

We know we’re delicious, but some people are afraid to try new things.  Exotic delights like grant writers scare some people off before they even take a bite.  There’s nothing to be afraid of and how do you know unless you try it?

  1. We put the nosh in your knish.Sexy grant writers are delicious like this loaf of french bread.
  2. We puff your pastry.
  3. We tantilize your taste buds.
  4. We terrorize your tiramisu.
  5. We back up your baklava.
  6. We sop up your sauces.
  7. We toast your buns.
  8. We grind your peppers.
  9. We put the cream in your puffs.
  10. We sauté your mushrooms.
  11. We knead your dough.
  12. We bake your biscuits.

If these aren’t enough reasons to savor that sexy grant writer – if you need a little more culinary instruction – brush with olive oil and put in a warm place to rise.

Other posts you may enjoy:

Top 10 Reasons to Read Sexy Grant Writers if Your are a Vegetarian

9 Ways to Pamper Your Sexy Grant Writer

Top Ten (plus 1) Reasons to Subscribe to Sexy Grant Writers

1. We’re sexy (and you fit in) Sexy grant writers love to be fed chocolates at poolside.
2. You’re sexy too ( and it’s nice to be reminded)
3. You’re secretly attracted to Nick.
4. You deserve a break from writing narratives.
5. You like it edgy.
6. Your Mom won’t approve.
7. Your Dad can’t send you a friend request here.
8. Your zen master told you it enhances feng shui.
9. Dr. Oz said it induces release of pheromones.
10. It blows your skirt up like Marylin Monroe’s.
11. It’s like being hand fed Godiva chocolates poolside by the love of your life.

Now you only need to act and subscribe!  Just click on the subscribe button in the laft sidebar and you’re in!

Other Posts You’ll Enjoy:

Dilated and Tweeting
Top Ten Reasons Grant Writers are Sexy

Graphic Credit – Gabriella Fabbri

More Tips on How to Attract a GWM

This is the post you’ve been waiting for.  The last 7 of 14 tips on how to attract the perfect Grant Writer Match to complement your grant writer sexiness.GWM

We hope that the first 7 lines have landed you that perfect GWM and that you have engaged the services of a talented wedding planner.  In case you still haven’t scored the perfect match, here are 7 more perfect pick-up lines to connect you with that GWM of your dreams.

1. I’ve got a measurable objective for you.

2. You’re so hot, you deserve a letter of support.

3. Here’s my response to your narrative.

4. Your goal is my objective.

5. You #1 on my checklist.

6. You and me, header to footer, think about it.

7. I’m your original, can you bind me?

Related Posts:

How to Attract a GWM

Grant Writers are Sexy Beasts

How to Attract a GWM

Let’s face it, grant writers are a catch.  Witness all the personal ads looking for a match with us!  Maybe you’ve missed it, but people looking for us are everywhere. They advertise themselves under a clever acronym – GWM (i.e., Grant Writer Match) – we are plainly a HOT commodity.GWM

You need to take the right approach to connect with that perfect GWM.  Here are 7 of the 14 top pick-up lines that can instantly tell a GWM that you know your RFP’s.

1. I’m the design for your needs.

2. I want YOU on my MOU.

3. If you were literature, I’d give you a citation.

4. I’d like to evaluate your design.

5. Can I be one of your activities?

6. I’ve got a budget for your benefits.

7. May I illustrate your design?

Check back soon for the last 7 lines that can help you attract that special GWM; or, subscribe to Sexy Grant Writers and our posts can be emailed to you!

Related Posts:

Nine Ways to Pamper Your Sexy Grant Writer

Grant Writers are Humble

The Grant Writer with the Winnie the Pooh Tattoo: Chapter 7

Nick found Boris outside his office pacing the hallway.  “Hello Boris.” “Thank you Mary, Nick come with me.” Boris pivoted at walked down the hallway at a determined pace, Nick fell into step beside him.  “Where are we going?” “Situation room, I’ve got a team on this now, something is up and you’re hot, we don’t know why.” “Yeah, tell me about the heat, I barely made it out of the Metro.” “What?” Boris stopped in his tracks and turned to face Nick. “Who was it?  Did you recognize anyone?” “No, I never got close enough.  I got one fast look at the guy underground, and I thought I knew the face, but he was a good 200 yards away, so I couldn’t be sure.” “Let’s go.” Boris wheeled and set off down the hallway with Nick hustling to keep up.Nick, the Sexy Grant Writer with the Winnie the Pooh Tattoo

Boris swiped his security card in a reader on the wall, then set his chin on a rest while his retina was scanned.  The door skid back suddenly and Boris ushered Nick inside where within a circular bank of computers, monitors, sat four other agents 3 of whom who hardly looked up when they entered so intent were they on their monitors.  The fourth rose and walked swiftly across the room to greet Boris.  “What have we learned John?”  “Not much so far, but we’re just starting. We reached out to every primary contact in Moscow to start listening on the street.” “What about Karnikov?” “We sent him over to the hotel, he’s “interviewing” the hotel clerk now.  He’ll talk if he knows anything but he probably doesn’t know a thing.” John is a lean young Asian man who Nick estimates is thirty.  Probably an MIT grad with a Ph.D. in cryptology or some arcane spy science. John appraises Nick Boris introduces him. “John this is Nick Serranto, it’s his girlfriend who was abducted in Moscow.  Nick retired from the Agency a few years ago.  You know the rest, what you don’t know is that Nick had a tail on the way over.” “Where did you see them?” “I saw them twice.  First in the metro, one underground, another one up top at the exits.  A black town car at the curb, couldn’t see if there was anyone else.”  Boris interrupted, “You didn’t tell me you saw them twice.” “Boris You didn’t give me a chance before you bolted up the hallway! They bought the Tonic routine, the town car was across the street from Quigley’s by the time the taxi drove past.” “I wasn’t sure if you being cautious with that routine Nick.  You haven’t gotten that rusty I guess.” “I opened the cell and it had a tracking bug in it, hard wired into the phone battery too, slick device.” “Naw, that’s old news now, probably old KGB junk,” John interjected, “The new stuff from China can’t even be found unless you’re an electrical engineer.” “Where’s the phone?” “I dialed the cable company where you’re on hold for hours and jammed it into the taxi seat.  I figured they’d chase a yellow cab around.”

“John!” came from across the room.  A young black woman peered out from behind her monitor, her face glowed in bluish light. “Come here, I’ve got something.” All three men skirted the inner circle of desks to form up behind the woman’s computer. “What is it Kara?” “Bad news…”

Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3 

Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6

Little Know Facts about Sexy Grant Writers

Little Known Facts about Grant Writers In an effort to bring greater transparency to the field of grant writing, here is a short list of things you may not know about a grant writer. While each of these is not true of all grant writers, we imagine that many of them apply to most grant writers. Sexy Grant Writers are mysterious people like this man standing in the desert with his arms outstretched.

1. We sometimes write proposals in our bunny slippers

a. We have bunny slippers

2. We always put the roll on over, not under

a. We always put the seat down

3. We can’t ignore the chocolate in the cupboard or the pie in the fridge (they call to us)

4. We’re lobbying for a Pulitzer to be given in grant writing

5. We sometimes read narrative drafts in the bath tub

a. Sometimes we just sing “Evergreen” (Love Theme from “A Star is Born”)

6. We sometimes take your phone call on the 9th green

a. The phone always rings on our backstroke

7. Our blood pressure spikes 12 hours before a deadline

a. We eat oatmeal to keep our blood pressure down (or just put some in the bath water)

8. We have an unreasonable paranoia about signature pages

Grant writers are a curious lot. We like people, but we work alone. We dislike writing restrictions and yet we follow restrictions carefully. To know us is to love us!

Photo Credit – Troy Stoi
Related Posts:
Ways that Reading Sexy Grant Writers Enhances Feng Shui
Ten Reasons that Grant Writers are Sexy