Dilated and Tweeting

Baby love with pregnant woman and man and hands shaped like hearts.In spite of my blog post title, I am not pregnant. Being a guy, it would be scientifically astounding if I were. It is my eyes that are dilated for those of you with your minds stuck in LaMaze.

Visiting with the ophthalmologist this morning gave me lots of time to think, especially since I saw him for all of about 30 minutes of the 2.5 hours I spend there – mostly in the waiting room with old Time magazines and old timers (where I am headed soon myself).

I thought about how hard it is to see sometimes even with your eyes open. I keep reading that social media is about connecting to people and listening. But did I see what I needed to do in order to grow my social network? No. Did I listen? No. What I did was start blasting out useful (to my thinking) information for my loyal and (NOT) growing audience.  I struck out into the Twitterverse blinder than a bat.

In trying to see how to navigate the Twitterverse, I am trying to make sense of the denizons of it.  There seem to be various camps:
Camp 1  – Socialites – People who joined Twitter to have conversations with people and to connect socially.
Camp 2 –  Celebrities and Narcissists – People who joined Twitter to communicate with their fans or constituents.
Camp 3Mother T’s – People who joined Twitter to rally people to a social/charitable cause.
Camp 4Trumpsters – People who joined Twitter to build a business through networking and promotion.
Camp 5Martha’s Brigade – People who joined Twitter to share information about their specialty.
Camp 6TechMarketers – People who joined Twitter as social media experts for the purpose of “conquering” this new media.
Camp 7Bandwaggoneers – People who joined Twitter because they thought they should.  These people got bored after ten tweets and abaondoned their accounts. 

I’ve done a few of the things that are suggested in posts about how gather followers but given the narcissistic and groupie-laden philosophies of some of the camps, I can’t see that they have any interest in following anyone.

Here are a few (some less than honorable) strategies that seem to be getting me more followers and none of these are on the lists I’ve read.
1. Suck Up– Look for people in your field who have something interesting to say and then blog about it and then tweet about the fact that you blogged about it. Vanity sells on Twitter. Works best with Celebrities, Narcissists, and Trumpsters.

2. Kiss Butt– Look for organizations like yours that have large followings and tweet about something they do well. Organizations like good virtual ink and tend to RT and say thanks. Works well with wannabe Celebrities, Trumpsters, and Martha’s Brigade.
3. Join Twit Chats – Conversations where you can add value get you followed. Social networking is available on Twitter, but it’s harder to access only posting tweets. This is where you’ll find the Socialites of course.
4. Post Pictures– People love pictures and will RT those they like. It’s the way to get past the 140 character limit too (1,000 words). Not really a target group here with the exception of photographers who are Martha’s Brigaders who’ll want to tell you how poor your white balance, there’s artifacts,  there’s no focal point in the photo (hey, I just point and shoot lay off all the jargon already!)
5. Post Constantly– I find that when I post a lot my numbers go up but the very minute that my frequency drops or I don’t tweet for a day or two, the numbers drop. I guess someone is listening after all. Socialites only like this if they want to talk to you, Celebrities and Narcissists aren’t listening to you anyway, Mother T’s will listen if you’re talking about how much to write on the check, Trumpsters listen if you’re buying, Martha’s Brigade listens if you’re in their specialty, Tech marketers listen to measure you and figure out the next BIG thing before anyone else (problem is it won’t be created by the listeners, it will be created by those leading the conversation), Bandwaggoners have already moved on to the next Big thing.

I’ll keep working at Twitter because I know it drives traffic to our web site which is the basis for being involved at all. Does anyone have any other methods I can use to increase my followers?